busy

I know it's been a long time since I've been on but with so much going on and everything with Ricky, I didn't feel like it to be honest. We finally put him to sleep yesterday and it was the hardest thing to do. I felt like I didn't have the right to play God but at the same time he was in so much pain and the pain medicine wasn't helping anymore. We got to keep him with us for an extra month on tramadol but even giving him double the dose the vet prescribed, because seriously what was it going to do, kill him? Anyway the double dose wasn't cutting it anymore and I couldn't justify keeping him just to make me and the boys feel better. I kept praying he would fall asleep and not wake up but he kept waking up. I miss him and AJ keeps asking when we are going to go back and get him from the vet. He is too young to understand. Neptune and Jazzmin won't eat. I'm sad but what do I do? I guess I should catch up on my blogging and since this is sort of my journal, talk about all of the things we've been doing, so I'll take a page from Darice and do it as a flash back. I don't have many pictures since I loaned my camera to mom and she isn't done with it yet and I hate doing it with the camcorder, it takes alot more effort and time, which I am short on.