Friday, September 14, 2012

Where to start?  I guess I'll just start from now and work my way back... I've got a lot of catching up to do...  On Saturday Ryan went to the temple. I should've gone.  I didn't and that decision changed my life forever.  Since I didn't go and the weather was so nice we decided to go for a ride.  The worst ride of my life.  We were almost home.  All of the horses were a little fresh since we hadn't really ridden all summer and we didn't go for a long ride so they didn't get worn out. Maybe that was mistake number two but I felt like we should go home.  We were almost home and Jake and I were in front. AJ had begged to ride alone so he could trot, we had always told him he couldn't trot before because he couldn't reach the stirrups so he asked for buddy stirrups for his birthday... So I took Levi on Tiger w/ me. Caleb was behind us and AJ was bringing up the rear since despite his wishes, Buddy had no intention of trotting.  Jake and I went on the side of the canal ditch closest to home. Caleb was having trouble getting Isabel to follow so he went on the other side, the way we had gone out. Suddenly Caleb started yelling MomMom! Isabel had bolted and was at a dead run. He was holding his reins and sitting fine but scared and didn't know how to get her to stop.  All the boys started to scream. then Caleb went off her. I don't know if he jumped or fell, he hit the ground rolling and she never missed a step. Some farmers had seen her bolt and jumped in their trucks and floored it to get to us.  I got my horse calmed enough to get Levi off safely and put him on the ground with instructions to go home, we were almost there and could see the house from there, I told Jake to get him there. I ran Tiger back around the ditch and to Caleb. He was unconscious but breathing through blood in his nose and mouth. I yelled at the first farmer who got there to call an ambulance and while I held Caleb's neck he started moving. The second farmer got there and he got AJ, who was still plodding along on Buddy, home safely. I found out later that he got all the horses unsaddled and put away and helped Jake.  Tiger had run home as soon as I jumped off him to Caleb.  The first farmer went to bring the ambulance to me since we were in farm fields and they couldn't find us.  The ambulance got there and called the helicopter who eventually flew us to Phoenix Children's hospital.  Caleb has a skull fracture that runs continously from his basilar skull up around in an arc through the temporal parietal bone and to his face w/ orbital, maxillary,nasal and zygoma fractures.  He also broke his right wrist. He was intubated after arriving here and was sedated the first couple of days.  He was extubated on Sunday night. On Monday they pulled his oral gastric tube and on Tuesday afternoon he got out of the cervical collar. They pulled his catheter out on Tuesday morning also much to his relief.  Yesterday he was allowed to eat soft food and it looks like that is what he'll be eating until he has surgery on Monday to stabilize his facial fractures.  Caleb has no memory of the accident but he does know what happened since we've told him.  He is seeing or has seen neurosurgeons,  a neuro-intensivist, orthopedics, plastic surgery, opthalmology, trauma surgery, pediatric intensivists and now general pediatrics.  They have all been so fantastic and impressed with his recovery.  When it first happened and I first got to Caleb I held his neck and prayed with the fervency that only a mother in fear for her child can, I knew then in my heart and still now, that he is going to be ok. Even with all the scary news I've been able to find comfort in reminding myself that I've already been told he will be ok and I need to hold onto that faith.  Caleb has been steadily improving daily.  We have been blessed to receive so much help in so many different ways from people cleaning our house to bringing meals and taking the other boys for something fun to do and coming to visit and sending cards and gifts to help Caleb feels their love.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


I didn't realize it had been so long since I've posted, holy moly.  Sorry but life has been super crazy. I'll  just post about them individually so that I can include pics, or maybe I'll do a big one with multiple pics I don't know but I'll figure it out.  For today... it's new years and I actually have some resolutions...  Normally I don't do resolutions since I know that I probably won't follow through with them... This year is different, maybe because I'm really tired of being fat.  Working the night shift  I have really packed on some pounds.  I'm pretty disgusted with myself and so knowing that I won't go to a gym, or anywhere else that I have to leave the kiddos for and knowing that I really need to cut calories I am focusing on portion control first.  Today was day one and I had for lunch two turkey/craisin crescents and 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes. For dinner I had 4.9 oz of baked chicken, 1/2 c mashed pots and 1/2 of corn and a piece of garlic bread.  looking at it on paper, it seems like too much food again.  I need to do some research and find out calories from that meal but I'm starting with baby steps... My other resolution is to speak softer and less of it...  listen more and talk less.  I'm pretty sure I'll need lots of practice with this one too.