SPECIAL TIME

Every night I lay down with my children for our special time. It started when Jake was born and I was working, that was the only time I got to spend with him awake on the days I worked. It kept going when Ryan was going to school, I was working full time and Caleb was born and we needed that special time together to bond. As our family has grown older and bigger it has become more of a challenge to spend time with each of them daily and so has become more and more important. I have come to learn that my kids see it as an expression of love and I appreciate it as a quiet few moments we can spend together after what is usually a hectic day. We use it to catch up on our days and it gives me an update on what is going on in their lives, what they are feeling that day and anything that is bothering them. Last week when I was laying with AJ and Levi (since they are small we do it in one bed together) AJ was feeling particularly snuggly and he told me, "mom, you are the best mom ever." It was completely out of the blue and made my week. Probably since he is 3 and often such a turd that I wonder if he hates us. Anyway last night I was laying with Jake and he asked me if I had gotten the answer I was praying for, again completely out of the blue. I answered that I felt like I had and we started talking about them making more decisions and having a bit more freedom and responsibility if/when I went back to work and why this was important. I queried to him and Caleb (who shares a room with him) that wouldn't they agree that I do most everything for them? They agreed. I continued that this really wasn't helpful to them and they needed to learn to do more to prepare themselves for the future. Jake said completely seriously, "our wives will do all that stuff for us." I couldn't help but laugh especially since Caleb said almost the exact same thing a couple of months ago. Then I explained that they would be indeed lucky IF they found a wife who would do that for them. They said that their job is to make the money and their wives job is to take care of them. Boy have I messed up. I reminded them that their dad helps out when he is home too because he knows that if he does I appreciate it and then we have more time to spend together as a family. Also that they would need to take care of themselves on their missions and in college and until they found a wife, if they ever did, who would do that for them since most wives don't and it is indeed a team effort. WOW! I enjoy doing things for them and for Ryan because I love them but now I'm afraid I've set them up for failure. Maybe that's why I need to go back to work, so they can get stronger and more independent.